Disgusting, hideous, stupid, ugly possums are coming into our back courtyard. They are eating the grapes and walk along the top of the solid wooden fence, which is out of my reach. It has become a bit of a game; I know they are out there, so I woof to go out, then bark and jump around while my Lady pokes at the possum with a broom until it runs away.
So Saturday night, after 1 am, my Lady lets me out and sure enough, there’s Ol’e Ugly sitting on the fence. Lady is mad, has had enough of ‘goddamn possum eating and shitting and bringing its filthy fleas and pestilence’. She takes the shovel this time, and I bark frantically and jump around like my ass was on fire and my head was catching. She tells me to go back inside the courtyard while she pokes at the possum with the shovel. I don’t listen…I run back out to the driveway and jump and bark…I’ve lost my puppy mind by this point. She shoves at the possum and it goes back over the fence into the courtyard. I dash back into the courtyard, ready to do battle. Brett-man is out there now, and he’s shouting my name and telling me to stop. I can’t. I went crashing into the big terra cotta pot of herbs, knocking it and the stand over, breaking the pot. I jumped into the flower bed and trampled the lilies. I leaped over the pond and destroyed the pepper plants.
Yup, I made a hell of a mess. Got in big trouble, but that was later. We still had a possum to catch.
Lady was on the other side of the fence, out by the driveway. I could hear her yelling and clanking the shovel against the fence and concrete, so I dashed back out the gate while the man yells at me. The possum gets shoved from the other side by Brett-man, my Lady shrieks and jumps back, and there's the possum on the ground.
Lady called for her fearless companion to attack. Who? Oh, that’s me!!
“Get ‘em Watson, get that possum!!”, she commanded, “Sic ‘em!!”
Oh man, this is what dogs are born to do! I charged at the possum and grabbed it by the back of the neck. It just sort of kept walking, so I let go and then chomped him again. Then I let go…and looked back at my Lady. I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do. I don’t know how to kill anything. Grabbing the possum with my mouth was kinda gross, so after a few attempts to “Sic ‘em!!” I stopped. Not much of a dog I guess, can't even kill a stoopid possum.
Lady took the shovel and pinned the possum by the neck to the pavement. She told me to back off, which I did. The possum hissed and snarled, baring its fangs. Its tail curled up around the shovel handle. That is one ugly animal. Brett-man came around the fence. He took the shovel and my Lady walked me back inside the courtyard.
I heard clanking and whacking sounds. Brett-man came back with the shovel. No possum. He said he beat it up pretty good and was hoping it didn’t come back.
Broken pot, ruined lilies, destroyed peppers...yeah, it was worth it
